- IS SHE THE ONE?
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Olu went to his room shut himself in and locked the door. He was too
upset and didn't want to react in a way he would regret. He was so
upset, he couldn't stay still, he kept pacing up and around the room
really annoyed and exasperated. This must stop he said aloud. I can't
take this anymore, this is absolutely wrong and unacceptable; in fact
this is way out of line. And I must decide and declare my stand
immediately.
Suddenly he stopped pacing, walked over to the wardrobe and began to
take Remi's clothes off the hanger flinging them on the bed. He removed
all her clothes, packed up all her shoes where she arranged them neatly
in a corner in his room, picked up her bag of under wear, her make up
bag, her handbags and her box of trinkets and jewelry. He removed her
church hats from where she hung them neatly on a stand and began to put
all her stuff in her very big box.
After about 15 minutes, he opened the door rolled the very big box to
the middle of the sitting room, went back to the room, brought her
shoes neatly packed in a big shopping bag and placed it next to the box
in the sitting room, went back for her trinket box and 2 boxes of church
hats and placed everything neatly in the middle of the sitting room.
His mother, lying on the couch watching TV sat up slowly with a scowl on
her face, Remi, who was having dinner at the dinning a few steps behind
the sofa close to the kitchen dropped her cutlery and stood up;
wrapping and tying her short bathrobe firmly around her, with shock in
her eyes and a tint on anger and disbelief in her gaze.
What's all this about Olu? She asked sternly. ‘Nothing’ Olu replied, I
just think you should go back home tonight’ ‘Home, what do you mean
home?’ Remi questioned raising her tone now with anger in her eyes and
her voice, ‘this is my home!’ she hissed between clenched teeth, jabbing
her right hand, bent at the bow, downwards with her fore finger pointed
towards the floor. Now she was really angry.‘Sorry dear, this is my
home, not yours, we are not married remember, you used to come and sleep
over occasionally at the start until you decided to move in your things
and become a cohabiter; you are not my wife, you are only staying here
and I allowed you because you're a friend and you've been good to me
once’.‘Shut up Olu!’ his Mum, interjected. What nonsense are you saying?
Is it Remi you are speaking to like that? ‘Apologize this instance’ she
commanded, taking sides with Remi.
Olu looked at his mother and grinned with anger in his eyes, not this
time mum, not ever again, you and Dad can do what you like with all the
wealth and so called inheritance, I am not and will never marry Remi,
my life partner is my decision to make not yours, you can disown me if
you like, you can as well bequest all your wealth to her, I'm done with
this drama, I'm out of here, he concluded storming out of the house
towards his car. As he banged the door behind him, he heard Remi
lamenting loudly to his mother and his mother consoling her and
threatening him at the same time, he shook his head and smiled to
himself. He felt really good; he felt free and almost wanted to start
running. For the first time in his life after 32 years of being that
good and obedient son, he garnered the courage to stand up to his Mum,
he felt really happy and free!
He got into his car and immediately put a call through to Abi, ‘Hey
Abi, I did it! I've asked her to leave, I told my mum off too, he said
happily as he drove out of the premises, I'm on my way to your house;
hope it's not too late, I'll be there in a few minutes’ he concluded the
phone conversation and hung up, driving pretty fast and with excitement
towards Abi's residence.
As he drove he began to think of the events of the last couple of
months. It's been kind of bitter sweet as it were; sweet with Abi,
really bitter with Remi, his mum and his dad.
His very rich and controlling parents insist he marries Remi; the
daughter of a close rich friend. Though he's known Remi since they were
teenagers, he never really liked her. Remi was quite saucy,
condescending, and haughty. She wasn't kind to her peers or respectful
to elders. The fact her parents were very wealthy had taken over her
sense of responsibility and ethics. No one really liked her and it's
likely Olu's parents wanted their son to marry her because of her
parent's wealth.
Olu, who was raised to always obey and do the bidding of his parents,
consented when his parents told him three years earlier they had
arranged for him to be married to Remi. He believed his parents knew
what was best for him even at age 29 and he was willing to obey. He
endured in silence all the discomfort and frustration of his
relationship with Remi who incidentally was in love with him and was
even going to settle down with her, even though he didn't really like
much less love her.
Till two months ago when he met Abi, a very beautiful and sweet young
lady who recently relocated from the north to Lagos on transfer. They
work in the same IT firm. Immediately Abi joined Olu's team in Lagos,
their friendship was almost automatic.
Abi really challenged Olu intellectually and her sense of
independence and maturity intimidated him. He kept wondering how a girl
can be so much in control of her life, choices, and future. She spoke
with so much confidence, audacity and courage. She was so much in charge
of everything Olu felt really intimidated and inferior, despite the
fact he was older and from a wealthier background.
Abi was so in charge, she was so intelligent, she knew so much about
life, about men, about relationships, about money, about business, about
career and about planning a great and exciting future.
This consequently enticed Olu and he concluded Abi was the girl for
him. In comparison to Remi, Abi was way beyond her class. Abi was indeed
a wife material, a reliable backbone, a good, wise, respectful and
purpose driven individual. For Olu, Abi was just it.
Olu had been complaining and lamenting to Abi about his dilemma and
the very difficult relationship with Remi. He's also told her about how
his parents want him to marry her. Abi never said much, all she said to
him was follow your heart, choose what is best for you, it's your life
at the end of the day.With so much excitement Olu got out of his car as
he arrived Abi's residence and ran towards her two-room self-contain
somewhere in Magodo where she lived.
Abi didn't let him in, she instead came out to talk to him, it was
past 9 in the evening. She was a bit uncomfortable about his late night
unplanned visit but she didn't say.
Olu with excitement narrated all that happened in his apartment a
while ago to Abi, how he insisted Remi must leave and how for the first
time in his life, he stood up to his mum. He was so happy; Abi could
feel his excitement and sense his delight. She was happy for him. All
she said at the end of his story was, congratulations, I'm happy for
you.
Suddenly, Olu calmed down and began to speak gently to Abi, he
suddenly began to confess his love and how he would want them to date
and how he would very much want her to be his wife. Abi remained quiet,
listened to him carefully and allowed him finish.
‘Olu,’ she began to speak after he was through, ‘I've heard you and I
appreciate all you've said and how you feel about me, but truth be
told, it can't happen. I don't want to sound arrogant or condescending
but let's face it, you are not my type. I can't date you, I can't marry
you. You are very good looking and rich and many ladies would do
anything to have you but not me. I am looking for a man to look up to, a
man that can inspire me, a man I can learn from, a leader, a mentor, a
guide, someone I can run to and cry to. Olu if I marry you, the reverse
would be the case, I would be the one carrying you and I don't think
that is what a good marriage is about, I'm so sorry’
There was silence, a prolonged silence that became awkward after a
while. Abi then turned to look at Olu and suddenly discovered he was in
tears. This really ticked her off. Is this a man? She thought to
herself. I'm sorry Olu, goodnight; see you tomorrow and she walked away
from him towards her apartment, bolting the door behind her.
Dear friend, who is a real man? It is that man who can take charge
and is in charge. A man strong emotionally and disciplined. A man who
can make decisions and is self-reliant, he is that man with a personal
revelation of whom he is, a man on a mission, a man with a vision, a man
of purpose, determination, strength of character and power.
This is beyond material possessions and good looks, its more than the
hair cut, the well groomed beard, the designer apparel, the shoes and
expensive wristwatch. It far more than the powerful and expensive car or
money in the account, being a man is in the personality, the maturity;
it's about having answers, it's about been reliable, dependable and
inspiring.
Would you be a real man today?
Think it, do it, achieve it and be the ultimate man, it's all in your mind!
IT BEGINS WITH YOU.
