TAKE IT SERIOUS AND PERSONAL.
Dayo was at a
wedding reception, he and his wife and several other people who know this newlyweded couple.
It had been a long day; everyone was still very excited and happy. It’s
more
or less a reunion. Many of them hadn’t seen themselves for as long as
eight to ten years. Marriage, Family, career and life ambition generally
has separated most of them and their occasional contact has been via phone
calls and social media.
They were all laughing and cracking jokes, eating and just catching
fun, five families, with the children, they were many and they drew a lot of
attention.
It’s been
a long while and they were all just catching up. Introducing the children
to one another and them; becoming instant friends. They were feeding the
children, looking out for them, at the same time dancing and singing and
making a lot of noise. In the midst of this, they were talking
career,
business and generating all kinds of business ideas and opportunities,
It was such a beautiful occasion; a beautiful reunion. They were all very
glad and happy to see and reunite; interact and share stories again, all of them,
everyone, except one of them; everyone except Juliet.
Juliet, a very beautiful and charismatic lady used to be a member of their seven man clique of friends back in the days during service year. They
all came to serve in one of the northern states several years ago from
different institutions and subsequently became very good friends. They
were seven; four ladies three guys.
Back in those days they were hustlers as corp members, real hustlers. They didn’t have a lot of
money
but used to collaborate, fend for one another and support one another
financially.
They were friends, really good friends and they did a lot of exciting,
interesting and in fact crazy things together.
Juliet, of the four ladies was quite outstanding, she was so beautiful
and attractive; very fair in complexion with dark long hair; deep brown
eyes and a beautiful smile that always revealed a lovely set of
white teeth.
She was tall, much taller than the other ladies and had a good gait,
she carried herself well and every outfit looked very good on her.
Seeing her in NYSC uniform would make every corps member proud to be
one. Juliet was simply delectable.
Juliet was also very confident, a bit too confident that somehow smacks of arrogance. she
could go anywhere, visit anybody, express her views and didn’t really
care what anyone felt. She was a bit saucy too I must add, she
disrespected her friends, spoke rudely without caution and had this air
of superiority simply because she was more attractive and spoke better
English.
Juliet was daring, very adventurous and incidentally had many
escapades with rich men who readily gave her money on request. Juliet always had money, thus she fed the other friends most times, They
would always borrow from her and never pay her back.
They kept rolling like that; an exciting clique all through the NYSC
days until finally it was over. Incidentally, of the seven friends, five ended up
relocating to Lagos, one stayed back in the north and the last went to Asaba.
As time went on, one after the other the ladies in the clique began
to settle down in marriage; the first, the second then the third, the
three girls were all married except Juliet. After about three years the
guys began to settle down too, eventually they all got married except
Juliet, she was the only one left still hoping and believing for a
husband and a
home.
Dayo was worried for his friend Juliet; she is not the type to take
issues like this lying low; she carried herself with an air of
superiority and has a competitive nature. Dayo began to worry for her as he
saw the desperation in her desire to be married. One after another, a guy would show up, then disappear, another would show,
then disappear. Dayo being very concerned implored her to take things easy, and prayed for her
that her own right husband would show up on time..
After about six months, Juliet just disappeared, no one knew her
whereabouts. The friends were all worried to be out of touch but not worried anything
was wrong with her; It is Juliet, she’ll be fine, she can very much
take care of herself and all of them together. But they wanted to know where
she was and how she was doing.
After about a year, Juliet called Dayo from Ilorin and told him she got
married. Dayo was very crossed at her.
She was at their own wedding and she supported them well, why would she
decide to get married and not tell anyone, Dayo queried within him, He called the rest of the
clique and gave them her number; they called her and they reconnected via
social media once again.
When she had her first child she told them but said they shouldn’t bother
coming for the naming ceremony as it was a low key thing, besides she
had a Caesarean Session and the naming was at the
hospital.
But on this day at this reunion, Dayo
understood clearly Juliet’s behaviour and reason for keeping away. She
came with her daughter and her husband alright, but they were all
absolutely taken aback and she was embarrassed too about the kind of man
she eventually married. Juliet is the second wife of an illiterate
trader, selling provision in the open market at Ilorin. The man, almost
twice her age couldn’t speak English at all and found it extremely
difficult, interacting and relating with his wife’s friends. It was
so embarrassing and awkward.
They were so shocked and disappointed. This two are obviously not
compatible. His dressing was so off, his mannerism and interest so
different. He belonged to a different world.
They however had to pretend, and cover up and struggle not to laugh whenever he tries to communicate in English.
This man is definitely not Juliet’s type. Why and how did she end up with him?
A week later Dayo was chatting with Juliet off a social media platform
and she began to confide in him. According to her, she hates her life,
and hates the marriage, her husband’s
first wife;
also an illiterate is giving her hell, she had two miscarriages after
her first child, her husband is caring but too busy to pay her
attention. She
indeed admitted she agreed to marry this man because everyone else was married and she was the only one left and time was running out.
She admitted she had missed it and made the greatest mistake of her of life.
Dear friend, marriage in life is not just one of those things in my
opinion; it is actually the next most important thing after life and
death because it is created to also bring about life.
Marriage is not about status but about family; living together,
growing together and raising wonderful offspring together, in love, joy,
peace and mutual understanding. If you allow pressure drive you into
it, you would miss the very essence of this beautiful union called
marriage.
Think it through before you settle for that man or woman; what exactly is your
motivation. Why him/her? Marriage is a personal thing; don’t decide based
on the opinion of friends and relatives; take your marriage personal and serious.
Excessive escapades as young people may also come back to hound and hurt us. We must do that which is good, great and fantastic at the right time, right place and for the right reasons. Cheers.
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